CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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