How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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