Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
