I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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