He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
