I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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