we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
