My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
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