I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize