Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
