In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
