too bad you live with your parents still
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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