but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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