We won't sleep together?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
