That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
