Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
