Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
