Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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