apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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