yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize