There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
