So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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