You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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