Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
