That's intense
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize