OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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