they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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