how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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