sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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