what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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