dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize