i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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