After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
