Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
