I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
