Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
