my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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