So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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