Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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