are you still at the devil's house?
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
