Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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