Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
