Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
