so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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