Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
