i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
