11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
