It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
