Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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