Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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