we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
