just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
