I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just found puke in my bra..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
