you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
