youre lurking in front of me
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
