what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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