And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
