We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
