just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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