I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
